Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. Thank you!
In the last two weeks we have had several doctors appointments and lots of things to be thankful for. I had an ophthalmologist appointment to check my vision and see if anything was affected by the stroke. I have absolutely NO lasting vision problems from the stroke! The doctor was wonderful and very insightful. He was an internal medicine doctor before he became an ophthalmologist, and explained to me that a lot of the human brain isn't put to use. The stroke must have hit a part of my vision section that isn't used. After hearing my history he thought it was the pill that caused the stroke and probably the migraines as well. He told me I was very lucky. I know that it isn't luck but the hand of God that has protected me.
We also had the appointment with the hematologist at the Lancaster Cancer Center. Again our doctor was wonderful and took the time to really answer questions and help us understand things. Though my anti-clotting protein is low she isn't sure that is the real issue. She said it was an old test I had done that could be affected by many factors and she ordered 4 more tests to be done. It was relieving to talk with her and she also thinks this was all due to the pill. Wednesday, when I went in for the blood work it took two nurses and an administrator to figure out what two of the blood test were. They had never heard of it or knew how to key it into the system. I was there waiting for an hour while they tried to figure it all out. But, finally, the blood was taken and I was on my way home. I go back for a follow-up with the hematologist next week and continue to pray for good news.
All this good news has definately helped calm my nerves and ease the anxiety I have been experiencing but the true calm in it all has come from the Lord. It has been a huge help to have people praying far away and even coming here to the home and praying for us. It has helped to fight the anxiety by playing praise and worship music in the home and turning off the TV. It has helped to fill my mind with the truth of God's word and spend less time filling it with facebook. God is using this for good. It has shown me how much I tried to control my life and keep it together. It has shown me how truly exhausting and futal that is. I've been reading
A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 and it is reminding me how much God loves me and wants to provide for me. He wants me to have rest in green pastures. In the book the author explains that as long as his sheep knew he was there with them they felt safe and they would lay down and rest. But if they didn't see him they would doubt their safety and would run around frantic. I feel the same way. If I focus on Christ and know he is there for me I can rest and go about my day. But, if I take my eyes off Jesus and look at the circumstance I get frantic, I have panic attacks and it effects others. I've got to keep my eyes on Jesus, my Good Shepherd!He isn't just my Good Shepherd but my Savior! He died on the cross for me. He died to save me from my sin and give me peace in this life and the life to come. He died so I could have eternal life with him. If that doesn't say, "I love you," I don't know what does. He doesn't promise in this life we won't have problems. Jesus actually says at one point, "In this world you will have trails. But, take heart, I have overcome the world." So, I am trying to take heart, keep my eyes on him and trust the One who loves me.
